Better Then Me
by RoseRosa
Summary: Kevin doesn't believe he deserves Ben after all he's done but that doesn't stop him from longing. Loosely based on the song “Better Then Me” by Hinder.


**Title:** Better Then Me  
**Characters/Pairing(s):** Ben/Kevin  
**Word count:** 2355  
**Rating: **M  
**Summary:** Kevin doesn't believe he deserves Ben after all he's done but that doesn't stop him from longing. Loosely based on the song "Better Then Me" by Hinder.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Ben 10, the show belongs to Man of Action and Cartoon Network. The song belongs to Hinder and no copyright infringement is intended from this piece of fanfiction.

**Author's Notes:** This is my first Ben 10 fic and I have to admit, I haven't got around to watching the episode's with Kevin in during the first series apart from "Ken 10" so I'm gonna be making a lot of stuff up lol.

**Better Then Me**

Kevin had realised a long time ago that he didn't deserve anything good to happen to him. He'd caused too much damage for that, caused too much damage to anyone that had bothered with him, had hurt anyone that had tried to care about him

When he'd first met Ben on that fateful day in the arcade, all he had wanted and expected was a little fun. He hadn't realised that he'd fall for the younger brunet boy, or how quickly that would happen. Everything about the boy intrigued him. His slightly tanned skin, his lime green eyes, his wit and manner towards the arcade worker. Everything fascinated him and he'd wanted more.

Even though the young mutant knew he didn't deserve to have such a person, he couldn't resist the lure of Ben.

As their short time together had passed Kevin had found himself growing fond of the boy and his innocent view on life, he still believed that there was only good or evil and nothing in between. Kevin should have known that those views would lead to trouble for him, after all the way the mutant boy lived wasn't exactly the epitome of all that was good and normal.

Ben brought out a caring side of him which he hadn't realised he had. He tried to look after Ben, tried to protect him from the evil of the world Kevin belonged to. After all, the streets were a dangerous place.

Still, Kevin couldn't protect Ben from himself.

Amongst tender touches and scattered kisses, Kevin used Ben.

The raven haired boy wanted the powers contained in the omnitrix. Oh, what he could do to all those who'd called him a freak with that power.

Kevin kept Ben close to him, kept following him across the country secretly, kept meeting him for his own selfish desires.

It wasn't only power that Kevin wanted though.

He _needed_ to feel loved.

After his parents had died the orphanage he'd been stuck in had been horrible. You had to look after yourself and no one gave a shit about anyone other then themselves, even the adults. So Kevin had escaped the first chance he'd gotten, he knew he'd be able to survive with his powers.

It had been rough for the first few months but eventually Kevin had found his way to New York City and an abandoned train station. Sure he could survive but it wasn't living. No one wanted to know him because he lived on the street and the others all thought he was a 'freak' because of his power. It was a lonely existence.

That was the reason he'd first clung to Ben.

Sure, Gwen hadn't thought much of him back then. She saw him for what he truly was-for what he saw he was-and had tried to warn Ben but he'd just ignored her.

It was strange really, she'd hated him from the beginning yet five years later when he showed no interest in Ben she had a crush on him?

Goes to show where her loyalties lie.

When he'd been stuck in the Null Void his and Ben's last words to each other echoed through his mind.

***********

"_Kevin...I don't want to leave you here but..."_

"_But what Benji? I might try and crash another train? I might use your powers for something 'wrong', huh."_

_Each word had been spat out like venom, every word shot like a bullet towards Ben. The brunet had looked wounded. Ben had turned away and had seen that the entrance to the Null Void was closing quickly. Ben needed to leave now unless he wanted to be stuck there._

"_Y'know__ what Kevin__, fuck you, I thought...I thought you cared about me but obviously not" I thought...I even thought that you loved me but I guess I got that wrong...just...you can just rot in here for all I care." _

_Ben had turned and rushed out of the Null Void, his face turned away from Kevin's but he knew the younger boy was crying._

***********

Kevin had known he'd hurt Ben and he hated himself for it.

Not only had he tried to use him but then he'd gone and lied to him.

He'd never repeat what he'd done to Ben again, he regretted every single wrong he'd done to the boy but that hadn't stopped him from going on and doing something else to him the next time.

Every time they'd met again Kevin had begged Ben for forgiveness and when Ben had cried he'd held him and had kissed the tears he'd caused away before he hurt him again.

Their parting words had a substantial effect on the two boys.

No matter how normal Ben tried to act he had trouble forming normal relationships with boy's he hadn't met before, he found it more difficult to trust them after all that he'd been through with Kevin.

Kevin didn't bother trying to find Ben again after he escaped, what would've been the point? The only way he could survive was by taking part in illegal activities and he'd already lost Ben once because of his lifestyle.

***********

When Kevin had agreed to broker an alien tech deal for the Forever Knights he'd had no idea that it would lead to him meeting Ben and Gwen again.

Of course they had fought for a short time but in the end they ended up working together. Part of the elder teen had been relieved that he was able to work side by side with Ben with little trouble. The other part of him was aching to just stop Ben and tell him to get out of his life, that it would be for his own good.

That part of him lost.

Soon Kevin had agreed to join up with Ben and Gwen.

The ex-con flirted with the red headed girl and teased Ben, trying to act as if nothing had happened between them when they were younger. The raven haired boy often found himself glancing at Ben, worrying about him when they fought a particularly strong enemy and tried to help him the best he could.

Ben seemed to have moved on anyway, every now and then Kevin thought he could see the brunet glaring at his cousin but it had to be for some other reason then Ben wanting him for himself, he had Julie after all.

He didn't know how he did it by Kevin managed to keep control of his emotions around Ben, even when he thought he may have lost Ben in the Null Void. He showed concern of course but he was sure-he hoped-it just seemed like friendly concern.

Gwen could see through the two boy's acts though, she hadn't realised that the mutant had made such an impact on her cousin. Her aunt had told her how she had heard Ben crying the night they'd met up with Kevin again, she didn't know what had gone on between them but she knew that he'd hurt Ben somehow. The teen hated that but she didn't hate Kevin, she could see that even if Kevin didn't act like he cared about Ben that he actually did and that he regretted turning to the dark side when he was younger.

The young anodite knew she had to do something to help the pair. She just didn't know what.

***********

Kevin could act normally around Ben but there were times where it took all of his self control not to grab him to take him right there, right then, where ever they were and whoever was around didn't matter to him.

Some times were more difficult then others.

The events of what had happened after Ben had returned from the Null Void was a good example.

"_My parents have gone away for the weekend, so you might as well come in," Ben had explained as Kevin had shuffled into the house after him. _

_The raven haired boy had been silent as he slumped down onto the sofa and accepted the can of soda that the shorter boy had offered to him. _

_The brunet boy dropped onto the seat next to Kevin and studied him carefully,_

"_What's up Kevin? You're not annoyed because you didn't get to help out in the Null Void are you?" he asked, frowning as he took a sip of his drink._

_Kevin had only just opened the can but he placed it down on the coffee table without taking a single sip._

"_No," he answered curtly. The frown on the other boy's face deepened,_

"_Then what's wrong? I know Gwen was ignoring you but there's no need to take it out on me," he exclaimed._

_A pale hand clenched into a fist as Kevin kept his gaze on the floor in front of him. _

_'Please don't start this Ben' he thought. _

"_It's not that," he managed to say out loud, an irritated sigh escaped Ben,_

"_Then __**what is it**__? Don't tell me you and Gwen had an argument when I was in there."_

_Gwen. Gwen. Gwen._

_To be perfectly honest Kevin didn't give a flying fuck about the girl, sure she was his friend but... _

"_It's not that."_

"_Tell..."_

_Ben's words were cut off as Kevin finally lost it, before the small brunet knew what was happening he was being pinned down into the sofa, his can of soda knocked over and on the floor as an infuriated teen glared heatedly down at him._

"_Don't you get it Ben, it's nothing to do with Gwen! I was worried about __**you**__! When that broken cord came back I thought something had happened to you...I...I didn't know even if you were alive or not..." he shouted but as he spoke his voice softened, a morose expression on his face._

_Ben was shocked to say the least but a small smile grew on his lips and before he knew it his hands were tangled in Kevin's black locks and he'd pulled the elder down into a kiss. _

_The kiss soon turned passionate, eager hands explored each other's bodies for the first time in the longest time. Clothes were tugged off and thrown carelessly to the floor as they continued their ministrations._

_Their love making was loving and lustful at the same time, their first time in several years yet it was over almost as quickly as it started. _

_They lay there, Ben in Kevin's arms as he fell asleep. _

_The mutant buried his nose in the brunet's hair as he took in his scent, a guilty look on his face._

_He couldn't help but feel bad, no matter how much he loved Ben he couldn't stay with him._

_He'd only end up hurting him again._

_Ben deserved better._

_Kevin had stood up and had quickly redressed and turned to leave. He spotted a small blanket folded up in a nearby box, most likely for the use of any guests sleeping over._

_Taking the forest green blanket he walked back over to Ben and covered him with it. The least he could do was give him some warmth and decency before sneaking out._

***********

When Ben had finally woken up he'd been unsurprised to see that Kevin had gone, it didn't mean that it didn't hurt though.

It obviously hadn't meant anything to Kevin, it had just been a quick fuck to him.

Ben had bitten back the tears and had gotten redressed, he wasn't going to be used like that again.

The two boys had to sort it out and now.

***********

Kevin had sat in his own apartment, just staring gloomily at the wall up until he heard a knock.

He'd gotten to his feet and had shuffled over to the front door, opening it to see Ben standing there.

He tried to shut the door but Ben put his foot in the doorway,

"Kevin...just listen to me," he pleaded.

The mutant looked down at the younger teen, green eyes looking up at him and he found himself unable to resist letting the brunet in.

As the door was shut Kevin found a piece of paper being shoved into his hand,

"Remember this?" Ben asked. Looking down at the piece of paper, the ex-con found himself looking at a sheet of photos from one of his days out with Ben when they were younger.

Kevin had used his powers to get the photo booth to take some pictures of them without them having to waste their money. In most of the photos the pair were pulling faces but in the last one they were just smiling, the taller boy had his arms wrapped around the smaller boy's waist, Ben's head was resting on Kevin's shoulder.

"Yeah," the black haired boy murmured. He ran a hand through his longish hair as he placed the photo sheet down on the small coffee table in front of him.

"I wish we could go back to the way we were back then," Ben said as he moved over to the sofa, sitting on the edge of the furniture. A brown gaze watched Ben sadly as Kevin leaned against the back of the couch.

"We can't go back Ben, well not without a time machine," he half joked with a small grin at the boy.

The mutant just received a glare in return,

"I don't mean it literally...I just want us to be happy..._together_ again," he replied.

"I'm no good for you Ben, you deserve better."

Leaping to his feet Ben stalked over to Kevin and standing right in front of him he glared up stubbornly, his hands placed on his hips.

"Everyone makes mistakes Kevin, everyone has done something they regret but that doesn't mean they don't deserve a second chance...I want to be with you and that's all that matters," he scolded.

His slightly tanned skin, his lime green eyes and his wit and attitude towards the world. Everything about Ben fascinated Kevin, how could he say no?

"I want to be with you too Ben."

-----------------------

**Ha ha it turned into angst in the end.**

**Anyway, I hope you all enjoyed it and please review!**


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